The Types and Their New Years Resolutions

Each Type's New Years Resolution
*And whether or not they follow through*

INFJ
I don't like the idea of having a resolution forced upon me, but I can't ignore the need for introspection and poking and prodding my soul for anything that is imperfect, and thinking of all the mistakes I've made my whole life, all of my personality flaws, my shortcomings, all the people I could of helped, everyone I've hurt, everything I could have done but didn't.

*Instead of making a resolution that's productive and healthy, mopes around all year feeling guilty for all of their shortcomings. Doesn't realize they make everyone around them happy just by being themselves*

ENTP
I refuse to make a formal resolution. But I do intend to accomplish many things. Such as increase my wealth, fame, and influence. And I guess I should exercise more.

*Increases their wealth, fame, and influence. Does not exercise more.*

ESFJ
On New Years Day I get up early, even though we stayed up late partying, so I can clean up the confetti and I can make a list of resolutions over a cup of coffee, complete with doodles.

*Ends up writing so many goals they become too overwhelmed and decide they can't change and don't follow through with any of them*

ISFP
This year I'm going to start up a YouTube channel, record my first album, swim with dolphins, and get a strand of my hair dyed red.

*Does none of these things and the next day forget they ever even wanted to do these things*

ISTJ
This year I will get even better grades (Even though I already get the highest grades of my class), I will work harder so I get a raise (Even though I work harder than everyone at work already), and I will go to the gym every day and perfect my body.

*Gets even better grades, gets a raise, perfects body. Accomplishes no more and no less than they decided to.*

ENFP
This year I will-

*Gets distracted by someone in need, rushes to help them, never finishes their resolution, but didn't need one anyways and continues to be a wonderful person all year*

INTJ
New Years Resolutions are stupid. If I need to change something about myself I won't wait around until New Years to change it. But I don't need to change anything anyways, I am the optimal human being.

*Doesn't change*

ESTP
This year I will finally see the Grand Canyon, get a tattoo, ride the world's largest rollercoaster, and beat a Guinnes World Record.

*Does all of these things and so much more*

ENFJ
This year I will learn the mandolin, buy a motorcycle, learn to speak Farsi, write a novel, and discover a new element.

*Does everything except the motorcycle*

INFP
This year I will start another blog, finish one of the 1,000 novels I've started, commit to either guitar, piano, violin, ukulele, or flute instead of trying to play them all, be everyone's favorite person to be around, and clean my room.

*Commits to nothing, gets extremely depressed and feels guilty and thinks they are a horrible person and everyone hates them. Actually accomplishes stuff they didn't plan on and is a great friend to those they really love without realizing it or giving themselves credit*

ESTJ
This year I will help everyone else to be more efficient by being more efficient in telling them what to do.

*Bosses everyone around like they do every other year. Ultimately makes everyone's lives more efficient but no one thanks them for it.*

ESFP
This year I will eat more, have more fun, possess more money, collect more Pokémon cards, make more people happy, watch more t.v., and try every restaurant within a 50 mile radius.

*Does*

ISFJ
This year I will make charts of all the household chores that everyone MUST follow. But it's not all work. There will be carefully scheduled time for fun.

*Makes a bunch of charts that no one even sees hanging on the fridge and bathroom mirrors. No one follows the schedule except the ISTJ, not because he saw it, but because the ISTJ is already on the same schedule.*

INTP
Resolutions are for people who haven't found the optimal way of living yet. AKA, not me.

*Stubbornly continues in all their bad habits and sails through life just fine*

ISTP
I totally forgot that making a resolution for new years is a thing. Then someone asked me what mine was. "I don't know, what do normal people do for their resolution? I'll lose some weight and exercise and stuff. If I feel like it."

*Doesn't feel like it*

ENTJ
I do not personally have a resolution, but I will devout a lot of time and thought to creating resolutions for everyone in my life and informing them of what they need to change this year.

*Tries to give everyone advice and everyone just ignores them*